Shrimp...

[Serenity]

Little Timmy runs into the kitchen where his mom is cooking dinner and starts shouting "MOM!! MOM!! GRANDMA HAS SHRIMP!! GRANDMA HAS SHRIMP!!"

His mom, completely dumbfounded, asks Timmy what he means. She gets the same reply about Grandma having shrimp.

"Show me what you mean, dear." Mom says.

Timmy, grabbing his mom by the arm, leads her into the living room. Sure enough, passed out on the couch with her robe open at the waste, was Grandma.

Seeing this, Timmy's mom said "Timmy, that's called a cliTORis."

Timmy looks at his mom and says...

....


......








............





..........

Wait for it....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

MOM. YOU CAN CALL IT WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, BUT IT TASTES LIKE SHRIMP TO ME!!!!

[Thrasher]

:') omg that is soo nasty :P

[murch]

allright dude, theres certain things allowed on this forum and that is certainly not! goddam im gonna vomit :P:P:P:P:P nasty.........

[Joker]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Shrimpussy :P

[murch]

haha you guys are fucking nasty......

[Serenity]

I have worse, murch...

Don't make me post the worse ones...

xD

[murch]

o please do.......

[Serenity]

Okay

Bobby had just turned thirteen. He lived across the street from a whore house, and had been saving up for a few years to spend a few hours in there, to see what it was like.

His mom left to go out of town for a few hours, and Bobby saw his chance. Grabbing his money, he left to the Bordello.

Upon entering the Bordello, Bobby was greeted by the Pimp. Asking for a whore, Bobby handed the money over to Charlie, the Pimp.

"You can have Julia. Be careful, though. She's a bit...Runny...Shall we say?"

Bobby didn't know what Charles meant, so he nodded and went up the stairs.

Julia was on a bed, almost naked. Seeing Bobby, she got up, and welcomed him with a blow job. Bobby enjoyed it very much, and loved how she sucked him dry.

When she finished blowing him, she asked him to eat her.

"Be careful, Bobby, I'm on the rags."

Bobby didn't know what that meant, and started eating. Pretty soon, he found out what she meant, and got a mouthful of it.

Looking around, he motioned to her that he would be right back, and he ran to his house, across the street, and went into the bathroom. He spit the shit into the toilet, brushed his teeth, rinsed, flossed, and all that. He went back to her room, and did it again.

Getting another mouthful, he again motioned that he'd be right back. Going back home, he washed his mouth again. He went back to Julia. Back to eating her as well.

When he went back home to wash his mouth, his mom walked out of the bathroom.

Seeing Bobby, she said hi. When he didn't respond, she noticed something in his mouth.

"Bobby, what do you have in your mouth?" Bobby looked to his left, avoiding her gaze.

"Bobby, what do you have in your mouth? She asked strictly. Bobby looked to his right.

"Bobby, open your god damned mouth right now." She shouted.

Bobby looked at her, and swallowed what he had in his mouth.

With a sly grin, he replied...

"Nothing, mom, why do you ask?"


XDXDXD

[Flow]

zomg...once i wonder if it tastes like shrimp :P :P :P

[Serenity]

ROFL

XDXDXDXD

olol

LAWL

lmao

lulz

lol

[Endurance]

ohhhhh my god, those are the two most sick jokes I have EVER read.

[murch]

im gonna go vomit now thanks trixie :)

[Ralic]

Damn dude thats wrong.
Congrats, brill haha ;)

[Serenity]

Hahah

Sorry if I completely killed you guys on 'em.

I have one more, but I think I already went too far as it is.

xD

[Joker]

Post more :D :D :D That was funny XD XD XD XD XD

[Serenity]

Fine

One more. :D

Jake lives in the Bronx New York, and had a few $1000 to blow. Being over the age of 21, he was legally able to go to a cat house and have some fun. Not knowing what to spend his money on, Jake decided to go to the cat house a few blocks away from his home.

He entered the cat house and met the Pimp there, whose name was Charles*.

*sounds like someone we met earlier, eh?*

Jake handed Charles his money, and Charles led him to a room; number 3.

"Just wait here, and I'll send 'er up, okay?"

Jake nodded his agreement, and sat down near the table when Charles left. Feeling quite a bit hungry, Jake noticed a bowl of tomatoes on the table. Noticing that the whore wasn't there yet, he took one and started eating it. Right when he took a bite, the door opened.

"Hey sexy, how about I give you a...HOLY FUCK WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

The whore walked in and saw him eating the tomato and flipped out. She ran down the stairs and told her pimp something.

Charles ran up the stairs and asked him what was going on. Jake said he was just eating and the whore ran away.

"I'll give you another one."

Charles went back downstairs, and Jake started eating another tomato. He was almost done with it, when the second whore walked in.

"Hey sex...WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

She, too, ran downstairs and told Charles something.

Once again, Charles went back upstairs and started talking to Jake. Jake, again, said he was eating when she called him a sick fuck, and Charles said he will send one more whore up here for him.

Jake nodded, and started eating the last tomato when Charles left the room. Half way through the tomato, the last whore, whose name was Julia, walked in.

"How about you come over here and I give you a blow jo...WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING YOU SICK BASTARD?"

She, too, ran down and talked to Charles. Charles came marching up, and started yelling at Jake. When Jake said he was just eating, Charles asked him what he was eating.

"There was a bowl of tomatoes here; I ate them all, why?"

"Jake, those weren't tomatoes. They were new abortions."


PWN3D

[flea]

Thats some dirty shit on both jokes
but please post more :D

[murch]

that second one was dumb sorry :P

[Serenity]

hahahah

Here is a shortie

What's the difference between a blond and a brick?































Bricks only get laid once.

[Joker]

Lawl

New abortions FTW!

[Endurance]

That's just gross... I literally gagged :(

[Serenity]

Okay a new one. :D


A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking
a bath.
"Mom," he asked, "Are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.

</endjoke>


Man, guys are terrible.

Women are just as bad for telling guys that.

XDXDXD

[xcine]

... mkay, they were slightly weird, xD
actually, don't bother me all that much for some reason.

[hottik]

dude, those are some sick jokes you have there.

[Serenity]

I'm King of Insanity and Master of Jokes.

I'm the dirtiest of dirty, and the most sadistic person you will ever meet. ;)

I have more sick jokes coming guys. :D

Don't worry. :D

[mw.Kris]

I hate sick jokes, the only one funny was the tomato one :biggrin2:

[Serenity]

I'm sorry. =O

I love them, and I'll try to make them a bit more clean, just for you pal. :P

Other than that, avoid this thread at all costs. It's going to be like Wario releasing his pent up gas in a major fart. :D

Just, worse. :D

[Drew]

omg that's funny shit!!! hahahhahahah but kinda nasty. actually really nasty. eating out his grandma - ewww

[Solo]

THOSE ARE DISGUISTING!
Good Job!

[carnifex]

wow thts sum pretty fu**ed up sh*t

[CuddleMuffins]

LOLLLL sick

[An1ken]

HAHAH you bad ass LMFAO

[Wired]

Eeew... post some more? lol

[shah555]

Sick........

[Serenity]

ROFLMFAO

Wow..I thought this thread died ages ago. O_O


Well, to add to it, here are some more jokes. =D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!"




A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"




Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.

When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.

The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."

"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"

The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."

"That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"

The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."







Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah teach?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."

"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"

The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."

Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"





One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?", Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys."

She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

[Sephi]

ewww lol..

[Serenity]

lol

I just realized something


Blowjobs are like grabbing ass. It feels good the first time, but after that, its still the same old thing.

The only thing that changes it is the shape of the ass and the size of the mouth. ;)